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Control Freaks… Listen Up!

One last thought before my weekend trip. Don’t try to control other people. The smart ones will likely see the game early on. They may test you. They may allow you to play your silly game, for a while. But if you keep it up, the strong ones — the ones with self-respect — will leave.

A relationship needs to be based in love and communication, not control. If your loved one does something unintentionally that hurts, you need to tell them and work out a solution, together.

If you are trying to control a relationship because in the past you’ve been hurt badly so now you fear being hurt again, you must stop. Take the time needed to heal the emotional wound. Next time, take a closer look at your new potential partner before committing.

Love and war are very similar. You are sure to be wounded in both. You need to heal and carry on, no hatred, no anger, no resentment.

A relationship is a partnership. One person is not superior. Both must have equal respect for one another. But that starts with respecting yourself. If you don’t respect (and love) yourself for who you are (no mask – no faking it) how can anyone else truly respect and love you? If you hide your true self, how can anyone else love the real you?

So, be you. Love you. Respect you. Show the world the real you . Being you is where you will find true love, happiness, peace and joy.

Lions don’t pretend to be anything. They are who they are. They command respect because they simply know who they are, and they show it to anyone who pays attention. BTW: if you find yourself near an uncaged lion, pay attention! 🙂

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Blessed Mother’s Love For All Of Us Is Overwhelming

Yes, each of us, no matter how bad we think we are, no matter how unworthy we think we are, each of us is loved so tenderly by our spiritual Mother. She knows us. She knows our souls. She knows that we are each innocent, beautiful children. Our ‘sins’ are forgiven if we promise to learn from our mistakes, to try harder, to do better and to love God with all our heart. Yes, we are all worthy!

If you are worthy of God’s love, who is anyone to say that you are not worthy of theirs? Unconditional love washes away all sins and mistakes.

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What’s next?

Well, there are a few options who I have been ignoring over the past months. I could take up with one of them and see where it goes, but none of them stands out. I think that instead, I’ll just hang out and see who God sends me. If no one comes along who lights a spark, so be it. I will accept “no one coming in” as God’s will that I remain alone because He has work for me. 🙂

BTW: Going up to ‘the cabin’ for the weekend with some bro’s (men’s weekend – giving more detail would risk disclosing my ID) so I won’t be posting for a few days.

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Done.

All of the posts about love were for my own sake. I was frustrated and had to put my emotional energy somewhere. It’s not healthy to suppress emotions. Bottled up emotions will kill a man.

But, I’m tired of thinking about her. I’m tired of hoping for a miracle. Clearly, she doesn’t care about me at all and I’m ok with that.

I’m out da door. . . . . you feel me? 🙂

Update 7/12/2026: A close friend who does not know the young woman that I’ve been heartbroken over, or anything about her asked “Why are you giving up on her? It’s not like you to give up.” I had to think long and hard because he is right, it is not like me.

In this case, it is almost a year since we have spoken. I cannot contact her. I promised that I would not. That means the only way to talk again is for her to reach out to me. She has not. I have waited. . . and wished and hoped for almost a year. Mostly, I have suffered the entire time. How much longer should I suffer? I can’t do this anymore (but she is not to blame, I am torturing myself).

If she had feelings for me but could not be with me, I would expect that she would have told me rather than leave me in limbo, not knowing WTF is going on. My only conclusion must then be that she does not give a flying fuck about me or my feelings for her. In that case, ok. I’m not angry. I’m not sad. I don’t think poorly of her. I simply accept that it is what it is, and that I must move ahead with my life.

Update 7/13/2026: I was asked if i fear living alone. First, as a man, I fear only 2 things, venomous snakes and jumping out of planes! lol Seriously, I’ve been alone for 28+ years and love living alone. Why? I have peace, no drama, no bullshit from anyone. Also, all of the quiet time forces you to see yourself and to get better coz guaranteed, you won’t like who see initially. And, you become a better person, eat healthier, take good care of yourself, patch your own wounds (physical and emotional) get strong and commune with God, Jesus, The Blessed Mother and angels. My perfect life is the one I am living, but one that adds a woman who loves me and who I can love. She would live a short distance away, not under my roof. We’d be good friends, laugh, play and when necessary, be serious. If she were majorly younger, we could tell family and friends that I am simply her life coach, or something similar. I don’t like lying but to protect her from the snarky ‘gold-digger’ comments, lying about our relationship is justified, at least for a while. Oh. . . and we’d fuck a lot! ha, ha, ha…

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Site Dedication

This site is dedicated to my good friend, Tracey L. Fisher who passed away on September 29, 2021. In our conversations, which were usually about politics and always intense, Tracey ended every single sentence with, “you feel me?”

Yes, I do brother. And at times, I still feel you around me. So, I talk with you like you were still here in the physical. And you help me through some crazy thoughts that I have from time-to-time. Thanks. You are a great man and a great friend.