Offering unconditional love does not mean that you accept another person’s behavior, unconditionally. It means loving them despite their hurtful behavior and then creating boundaries to protect yourself from those hurtful behaviors.
We should not allow anyone (including those we love — even soulmates) to hurt us. This ‘hurt’ is not just physical abuse, but also emotional abuse and/or general disrespect. In that case, walk. Only people who do not feel good about themselves stay and take the abuse or disrespect.
Some examples of boundaries might be:
– Requiring calm communication rather than shouting, insults, or silent treatments.
– Maintaining your own hobbies, friends, and personal time separate from your partner
– Keeping commitments and honesty as non-negotiable foundations.
– Protecting your personal journals, passwords, or personal space
Boundaries are about self-respect. Loving someone unconditionally does not mean that you stop being who you are, or that you stop respecting yourself.
BTW: If I tell you that I love you unconditionally, that is not a statement that you can do whatever you want to me and I’ll stay, no matter what. Mistreat me and you lose my closeness, my affection, my energy, my warmth, my protection, my inspiration, and my commitment. I can love you and refuse to be with you. 🙂