If you have been working hard to control your life, but your life is all fucked up, maybe it is time to do what is in your heart instead of what is in your head. Sit quietly and feel God’s love. Let it fill your heart. Then, surrender to His will. That means doing what you feel He wants you to do, not what your ego wants. (Serve God not your ego.)
Trust in God. Trust in the people who He sends to love you.
He knows best what is good for you. Look inside yourself to find and understand your fear. Then face and overcome your fear. Know that God is with you and if you are with Him, His power is yours to use as needed. Nothing can harm you.
Surrender your will to His. Follow His plan, not yours.